time has brought your heart to me
by Fiery Keys
Summary: "Held my heart? You've done it longer than you know."-Post 4x12. After Belle banishes Gold and Killian's heart is returned to him, Emma and Killian have a long, well deserved talk about everything. Canon Divergence.


**time has brought your heart to me**

"I-I really haven't done this before, you know."

Killian looks at Emma, who seems uncharacteristically nervous and then down at the glowing red orb she holds in her hands and quirks a brow.

"Held my heart?" He keeps his voice light, but the words he speaks are perfectly sincere. "You've done it longer than you know."

Emma's eyes widen a little and her face colors. "You know what I mean."

"All you have to do is push it in, darling," Killian says encouragingly. Emma swallows and takes a step closer.

"Just be gentle-" Without warning, Emma slams the heart back into his chest. Killian gasps, not in pain, but in surprise as he promptly overwhelmed by the sensation of feeling, washing over him like a tidal wave and returning to his spirit and soul.

"Sorry," Emma says immediately and when Killian looks at her, he can feel the intensity of the love he hadn't felt rightly in so long down to his very bones. "I thought if I did it quicker, it'd be like ripping off a-"

Unable to resist anymore, Killian dives in and cuts her off with a kiss, backing her into the wall. Emma clings to his shoulders for support, lips moving against his eagerly and Killian sighs contently, delighted at being finally able to kiss her the way he'd wanted to ever since his heart had been taken from his chest.

When he draws away, she chases his lips but Killian simply rests his forehead against hers, reveling in the feeling of being alive, of being with _her_ , when he'd thought all hope was surely lost for him.

"I told you, Swan," He finally murmurs huskily, opening his eyes. "I'm a survivor."

Emma smiles at him, her eyes full of relief and an emotion he can't quite place. Before she can speak, however, Ruby appears from around the corner, grinning slyly at them.

"Guys, try not to have an intense make out session where the whole diner can see you, yeah?" She teases, and they spring apart from each other, blushing furiously. Ruby gives Killian a cheeky wink before turning to Emma.

"Regina's alone in the diner. She looks pretty upset, probably because of what happened with Robin."

Emma sighs and Killian glances at her curiously. "What happened with Robin, love?"

She shakes her head. "It's a long story," Emma mutters, and looks at Ruby. "I'll go talk to her," She says and the other woman nods and walks away.

Emma turns back to Killian again and he represses a shiver when she places her hand against his chest, right above his pounding heart. It feels like every sensation and emotion has been magnified a thousand fold, Emma's mere touch enough to heighten every sense in his body.

"I'll be back in a little while," She says, seemingly unaware of the effect she has on him. "I won't take long." Killian recognizes the statement for what it really is, a plea for him to not go anywhere.

"I'll be here, love," Killian assures her. It's not a simple reply, but a promise.

She smiles, brushes a kiss against his cheek and goes down to the diner.

Killian retires to his room and sits on the bed for a long while. At times, he presses his hand to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart and marveling at it, marveling that he is still alive; when mere hours ago he had gone to the clock tower prepared for Rumplestilkskin to send him to his grave.

But the Lady Belle has saved him, using the dagger to force Rumplestilkskin to let go of his control over Killian's heart before magicking them to the town line to deliver whatever justice she deemed fit.

The minute they disappeared, Emma had run to him and pulled him close to her, like she was afraid he would disappear before her very eyes. Killian had instantly relinquished his heart to her.

It was only fitting, after all, giving his heart to the one it really belonged to.

The sound of the door startles him out of his thoughts. Killian rises to his feet, his mouth tugging into a smile at the sight of Emma shutting the door behind her.

"Swan-" Killian begins, but gets no further as she is suddenly upon him, hands clawing almost desperately at the collar of his jacket as she drags his mouth down to hers. Killian's grunt of surprise is muffled as she pulls him impossibly close, her lips seeking his hungrily. Emma nips at his bottom lip insistently until he opens for her on a gasp. She hums in approval, drawing her tongue over hers in a torturous drag until he groans and pulls away.

"Emma, love-" Drawing away, Killian looks down into her flushed face, noting that her jade eyes are guarded, far too guarded for his comfort despite the desire he can see in them. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," Emma insists and tries to kiss him again, but Killian pulls away and steps out of her arms.

"Something is troubling you," He brushes his knuckles over her cheek and Emma closes her eyes in response to the tender gesture. "Tell me what it is," Killian prods gently.

Emma sighs and plops down on the bed. Killian sits next to her and waits patiently for her to speak.

"It's just-" Emma begins finally. "Killian, you nearly _died_. Gold-he had your heart and I knew something was wrong. I sensed it and I still didn't do anything and you could've died because of that-"

"Hey," Killian reaches out and covers her hand with his. "It wasn't your fault, Swan. My brush with death was of my own folly, it was none of your fault. I-" He swallows, guilt rising in him at the pain and worry he has caused her. "I owe you an explanation. About everything."

Emma gazes at him for a long moment in silence before she gives a short, jerky nod. "Yeah. Start from the beginning, I want to know all of it."

"As you wish." Killian exhales, relieved that she hasn't already walked away, he'd truly deserve it if she did, after all the secrets he kept from her, but she still chooses to trust him. He can't understand how or why, but he'll treasure it, and tell her the truth.

All of it.

So Killian begins his tale, starting from where he blackmailed the Dark One into giving him his hand back till the moment Rumplestilkskin had bound him to the gates of the Sorcerer's mansion and ripped his heart his heart out. As Killian speaks of it, Emma's hand tightens around his and he can see her face pale as she shuts her eyes in horror at what could've happened.

Finally, he finishes, and waits in silence for what Emma has to say. Surely this will be the moment she walks away, Killian thinks. Why would she trust him after he lied to her, so many times? He betrayed her trust and now he will pay for it.

"You're an idiot," Emma says at last, and Killian blinks, having expected a far harsher chastisement.

"Love, I-" He begins, but Emma cuts him off, shaking her head.

"No. Let me finish," He silently acquiesces and she continues, her voice growing in volume.

"This all started just because you wanted your _hand_ back, right before our date? What, did you not think you were _good enough_ for me, with only one hand?" Emma sounds incredulous and hurt. Killian winces. "What the hell, Killian? Do you honestly think I'm so shallow?"

"No, no, of course not," Killian says hastily, eyes widening at the even thought of it. "Never, my love, I just thought-I just thought you deserved more than a broken man, more than-" He glances down at the brace covering his left arm, self loathing lacing his words. "More than, well, _me_."

Emma cups his face in her hands and pulls him back up to meet her gaze again. "Look at me, Killian," She commands softly and he flinches, but does as she says, anyway.

"I couldn't care less if you had one hand or no hands at all," Emma says firmly. "It doesn't matter to me, got it?"

"But-"

" _I said I don't care_ ," Emma repeats insistently. "You said you're a fan of every part of me. Well, that goes both ways. You're _both_ Captain Hook and Killian Jones and I _love_ every part of you-"

Killian stares at her. Did she just-

Emma realizes what she said and her hands drop from his face and she scoots back to the edge of the bed, her eyes widening. "Killian, I-" she stammers, and he can see her walls going up again. Killian reaches out and pulls her to him again and sees that she's _shaking_ and feels his own heart break, for all the pain she went through to even feel fear at saying those simple words.

"Don't run from me, love," He murmurs brokenly and gathers her into his arms, hugging her close, his heartbeat melting against hers and he buries his face in her hair, the rest of his words muffled. "Don't run from me. Not again."

Emma shudders in his arms and she nestles closer into him, as if trying to hide herself from the world outside. "I just-" Her voice chokes on a sob. "I'm just so _afraid_ , I want to love you, but I _can't lose you_ -"

Killian shakes his head. "You won't, you won't, I promise-" Then he's kissing her, on the cheek, across her jaw, the tip of her nose, the crown of her head. "I _promise_ …" He mutters between kisses. "You'll _never_ lose me, if I have anything to say about it."

Emma lets out a little sound between a laugh and a cry. "I'll hold you to that."

She stops shaking. Not soon, but eventually, and the hours tick on as they simply hold on to each other in the dark of night. Silence stretches between them, but it's far from tense or angry and instead feels familiar and comfortable.

Then, Emma speaks, a groggy mumble into his chest.

"I'm still mad at you."

Killian laughs. "Of course, love."

Silence. Then-

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

He murmurs the words against her ear, wanting to rejoice in his freedom to finally say it.

"I love you, too."


End file.
